It’s finally time for everyone’s favorite annual tradition Friday: the Last Day of Classes, affectionately dubbed “Blowout.” But, since Kegs and Eggs gets old after maybe your second year of it, we thought it was time for a new activity. Thus, The Flat Hat brings to you the Blowout Drinking Game. It works much like any game you’d play watching “Family Guy” or the “Big Lebowski:” each time you see one of the following occurrences, take a drink. So take your Nalgenes, empty soda bottles and flasks and enjoy a day of prime people watching. This may lead to a merrier Blowout than expected, so keep it safe and please obey all state and federal laws

Take a drink every time someone:

• Trips over the uneven brick pathways
• Asks a loud, stupid question in class
• Runs out of class for an emergency “bathroom” break
• Complains about not being able to do Blowout in a lab
• Decides to drink anyway in that science lab
• Whips out a flask during class when the professor’s back is turned

Take two drinks every time you see:

• Someone walking around with a red Solo cup
• Someone walking around campus, unnecessarily shirtless
• Someone trying to sneak Nalgene bottles of indeterminate contents into Earl Gregg Swem Library
• A game of third-floor Swem Shots and/or Swem Shotgun
• People doctoring their coffee at the Daily Grind.
• Someone napping and/or passed out in the Sunken Garden
• Someone walking around with a suspiciously large, or overstuffed, jingling backpack
• A hammered freshman making a much bigger deal out of Blowout than it actually is
• A clearly drunk person sporting a “Being sober never looked this G0.0D” T-shirt
• Elderly Williamsburg residents shaking their heads in utter disappointment

Take three drinks every time:

• Someone in a costume runs by
• Your professor tells anyone who’s been drinking to leave class
• You come across a random dance party on campus
• The police eye you suspiciously
• A loud senior toasting disturbs the relative peace of your dorm
• A professor or administrator denies the existence of Blowout
• You hear someone screaming, “Oh my god, I’m soooo drunk!”
• At the pancake house that evening, someone drops their meal and makes a scene

• Screams/curses profusely at the Christian a cappella groups performing there

Additionally:

• If you see Taylor Reveley, take a voluptuous sip of your succulent beverage choice.
• If you encounter a tour group that looks absolutely terrified at the abundant debauchery, take a drink. Then scream at them.
• If you see a police car with its lights flashing, finish your drink — you don’t have much time.

Have fun and Happy Blowout.